October 26, 2017

How I Learned To Love My Body – Jacintha Akkerman

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“I’m fat”. “I wish I had a body like hers”. “Why can’t I be skinny?”. 

Sound familiar?! 

For as long as I can remember, I have had body issues. Some might say body dysmorphia

When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with baking. I loved baking delicious food, but unfortunately that delicious food didn’t love me. 

In high school, it resulted in me putting on a lot of weight.

I was “big boned”, as they say. But I’m not sure the bones were the issue.

I LOVED sugar, but for all the wrong reasons. Constantly gaining weight resulted in having self-doubt and lacking self-confidence. 

Seeing myself in photos during high school made me depressed. 

I didn’t believe in myself, so I would eat my feelings. 

When I finished Year 12, I wanted to put myself on a better path. 

So, I stopped drinking soft drinks, limited my sugar intake and fell in love with exercise. 

But then my love for food turned into a love of alcohol. 

My diet did improve but I would go out all weekend. 

Come Monday, I would feel guilty so I would pound the pavement, do as many spin classes as I could, and eat very little. 

I wasn’t respecting my body, and it was very noticeable in my face, which resembled a Hawaiian pizza. 

And I was constantly so negative. “I have fat legs”. “Gosh, she is hot, why can’t I look like her?”. 

Then I would sit on the couch and eat an entire pack of chips and block of chocolate. 

Some people are genetically blessed with a perfect figure. I am not one of those people. I have to work for it.Screen Shot 2017-10-08 at 7.11.24 PM.png 

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